The Basement Party
by Shadowgate
Summary: When you find a political group that advocates small government do you wonder if they really mean it?
1. Chapter 1

The Basement Party

By Shadowgate

…...

Randy yelled "Stan and Shelly we need both of you to come down here."

Stan and Shelly came down as they were told.

Sharon said "I got this memo from the local Colorado Tea Party Headquarters and it's about family values. The particular subject matter at hand is children cussing."

Stan asked "isn't the Tea Party supposed to be about less government?"

Sharon answered "yes they want less taxes."

Shelly commented "they want a few less taxes. They don't want less government. They want to tell me I can't have an abortion at my age."

Stan laughed and said "you don't have to worry about whether or not you can get an abortion Shelly. No guy wants to sleep with you."

Shelly punched Stan and left him with a fat lip.

Shelly then demanded to know "got anymore smart ass remarks for little brother?"

Stan immediately answered "no ma'am."

Sharon yelled "CHILDREN PAY ATTENTION!"

Sharon went on to say "the pamphlet says that throughout history when children cussed in school they got punished. They used to get paddled. Now days teachers just ignore it or if there is a punishment it's suspension. The kids can stay home and play video games. We the Tea Party of Colorado are calling for immediate in school suspension every time a child cusses in school."

Randy said "today is a special Saturday meeting at South Park Elementary School which your mother and I will be attending."

Stan said "oh well the Republicans these days love to call special sessions and apparently so does this new Tea Party."

Randy said "Stan the new Tea Party is just as patriotic as the one in 1776."

Stan shot back "no they're not. They're a mockery."

Shelly jumped in "Stan's right, look at the special session they're trying to call in Mississippi."

Randy argued "no they're good patriots trying to stop Obama."

Stan pointed out "dad you voted for Obama."

Randy yelled "STAN DON'T BE A SMART ASS!"

Stan called Wendy and when he did he found out she was disturbed by this meeting. She told him that there plans of bringing in paddles, handcuffs, and more. She said she'd been researching the Tea Party and she told him if the Tea Party had their way his dog Sparky would be put to sleep.

Stan said he would round up the guys and told Wendy to round up the girls. They'd have a meeting in Stan's basement.

Wendy ran to Bebe's house and quickly convinced her to come to the kid's meeting.

At the school the parents were gathered in the parking lot. Steven Stotch said that "if Butters cusses in school I'll ground him and paddle him."

Tom Tucker said "I know my son is generally quiet and while he'd love to cuss out teachers he doesn't."

All of the sudden loud thunder was heard.

The parents all looked up and saw a big black cloud.

Tom Tucker said "oh we're going to have ourselves a downpour alright."

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. Chapter 2

The Basement Party

Chapter 2

By Shadowgate

…...

As the grownups entered the elementary school gymnasium for a meeting Steven Stotch said "I think it's great you've got a computer and with the cameras hooked up in the basement. Just before I left I overheard Butters on his cellphone talking to your son about a secret meeting in the basement."

Shelia said "oh those kids now just because we're having a meeting about cutting down the profanity in schools they think they're going to have a nice little meeting. Oh good thing you can watch them Mister Marsh."

Randy was watching on his computer and he said "oh they're filing in."

A loud roaring thunder was heard.

Gerald commented "it's supposed to flood we might be stuck in this meeting longer than we expected."

Shelia said "well that's fine we can have a long discussion about how we're going to change behavior in school to how we like it. The Tea Party said we should take back our schools."

Stuart McCormick said "well when they say that don't they just mean get the federal government out of our schools?"

Randy answered "well sure but they did explicitly mention behavior in school."

Several children from South Park met in Stan's basement.

When Wendy arrived she pulled Stan in for a big hug.

Bebe called out "Kyle could I talk to you?"

Kyle responded "sure what is it?"

Bebe said "well there's going to be a big flood while we're here and our parents are at that dumb fucking meeting. I was just hoping that we could have a last dance should we die in this bad weather because it's supposed to be really fucking bad."

Wendy cut in "Bebe we're here to have a meeting about youth rights so now is not the time to hit on Kyle."

Bebe got pissed and snapped "oh excuse me you just hugged your boyfriend."

Shelly commented "Wendy you are actually dating my brother Stan?"

Wendy answered "yes and furthermore I'll bet $100 you're the one gave him that fat red lip."

Shelly backed off.

Wendy went on to say "what makes you think it's okay to beat up your little brother? You should see a fucking counselor."

Clyde and Craig cheered.

While watching the whole thing Randy said "the kids are really getting passionate."

Sharon replied "you know we really shouldn't let Shelly beat up Stan the way she does."

Randy said "I'd better get back home and break up their meeting in the basement. Some of the kids might have sex."

Shelia yelled "OH MY GOD IF KYLE HAS SEX WITH ANYONE HE'LL BE GROUNDED FOR A YEAR!"

Gerald cut in "I feel like it's been a year since we've had sex."

All the grown ups laugh at Gerald's comment and Shelia gets very aggravated.

In the meantime in Stan's basement Stan called the meeting to order.

"First I'd like to say that I feel safe in my basement with all of you and we'll face the weather together. You know we get some rough weather in South Park."

Cartman commented "you feel safe because your girlfriend is protecting you from your sister."

Clyde jumped in "I'll protect Stan as well and we don't care if he's being abused by a boy or a girl. The abuse is abuse."

Craig said "right on Clyde."

Craig jumped in front of Stan to protect him.

Stan said "Thank you Clyde and thank you Craig. Wendy I'd love to make love to you right now but we have a meeting to get on with."

Randy yelled "OH MY GOD STAN JUST MIGHT END UP HAVING SEX!"

Shelia yelled "why didn't you stop your son from calling that meeting in the first place."

Gerald said "honey they might on have sex. It looks like they're going to have a meeting to counter our meeting."

Shelia said "that's bad enough."

A loud roaring thunder then the power went out in South Park.

TO BE CONTINUED


	3. Chapter 3

The Basement Party

Chapter 3

By Shadowgate

…...

Stan said "alright the lights are out and I hope you all remembered your flashlights since we knew how likely this was."

Everyone except Butters got out their flashlights.

Butters explained "if my parents found out I was in a power outage and have no flashlight I'll get grounded."

Stan replied "Shit Butters if either one of your parents farted they'd blame you for it and you'd be grounded."

Butters nodded and said "yep I'd be grounded and wouldn't be allowed to leave my stinky old house."

Everybody laughed.

Butters said "don't laugh it's true and I'm not comfortable in this dark basement. That rain is coming down hard and we may have a big freeze."

Craig and Clyde take turns giving Butters massages.

Shelly turns to Stan and says "Stan I love you and I do mean that. I don't know if this weather will get bad enough that will actually lose our lives. Never the less I'm here for you."

Wendy replied to Shelly "that's great to hear but since your little brother is my man I'll have his attention for now."

Bebe chimed in "while Craig and Clyde help Butters stay calm I've got dibs on Kyle."

Bebe wrapped her arms around Kyle.

As the main couples hugged and kissed Cartman yelled "YOU GUYS SERIOUSLY THERE'S A BIG TRUCK WITH A PIPE SUCKING ON A MOUNTAIN."

Wendy replied "hmm well I'm ready to suck on the big mountain in Stan's pants."

Everyone said "whoa!"

Cartman repeated "seriously you guys there's a truck with a pipe sucking on a mountain."

Kyle commented "I'll bet your ass is bigger than the truck."

Cartman started cussing big time.

Stan and Wendy stopped hugging and kissing but still held hands.

Bebe and Kyle did the same.

Stan says "Cartman so what if there's a truck out there?"

Cartman said "it looked suspicious."

Kyle said "if you're lying you're going to get a beating."

TO BE CONTINUED


	4. Chapter 4

The Basement Party

Chapter 4

By Shadowgate

…...

Cartman stated "I'm glad you guys aren't going to beat me up. After all I'm reporting the federal government stealing our water. Look what they did to Cliven Bundy."

Wendy said "we don't know that they're stealing it from us. They might be taking it to be distributed and for testing to make sure it's safe to drink."

Bebe chimed in "yeah Cartman you're so stupid you didn't think of that."

Cartman flipped off Bebe.

Kyle growled at Cartman.

Cartman said "you want to fight bitch I don't care if the power is out. We can fight."

Stan said "no way you'll fuck things up in my basement."

Back at the school Sharon started having anxiety and said "I'm glad they canceled this meeting. Kids are going to cuss so just give them detention and be done with it. This Tea Party is calling for our kids to be beaten for cussing. Right now we can't even get to our children because of the weather and I'll bet if Tea Party members found out about our ordeal they'd be laughing their asses off."

Randy said "you're right Sharon. I can't even see the children. Hey you know there was a case where parents put cameras in their house to spy on their 16 year old son. Well the spying by hidden video cameras led them to find he was involved in selling marijuana. They turned him into the police. He was tried as an adult even though marijuana is a non-violent offense and got five years."

Gerald jumped in "the purpose of trying kids as adults was meant for the violent offenders who will be nothing but violent offenders for their whole lives."

Randy said "well at this point we can't see our children in my basement because of a power outage and again let's get back to the bigger point. Why the fuck should we paddle our kids just to please these Tea Party members? These Tea Party members are standing by the pedophile priests in the Catholic Church."

Sharon said "Randy I'm proud of you for showing brains like never before. As soon as the weather clears we'll rush home and take Stan and Shelly out for pizza."

Randy said "hey we should talk with Shelly about hitting Stan earlier."

Sharon said "definitely."

BACK IN THE BASEMENT

Craig asked "how is it out there?"

Stan answered "it's starting to clear up. How's Butters?"

Clyde answered "he's calmed down."

Stan said "good."

Wendy said "Stan if things get bad and we're going to die let's die in each others arms."

Bebe said "Kyle if things get bad and we're going to die let's die in each others arms."

Both couples held each other tight.

Two hours later the grownups arrived at Stan's house. All the kids cheered and hugged their parents and all the parents decided to take their kids out for pizza.

THE END


End file.
